I've been called insane before. I should be offended by that, and yet here we are.

Well, fairly big news this week. I'm moving. Don't all get too emotional now, I will keep updating my blog. I am moving up north to live with my father. He has already lined up work and living arrangements for me, and I leave in a week and a half. The upside, I am going to start a new. I will get fairly good money to do a good job, and I don't have to pay rent. The downside is I won't get to hang with Midnight and White Knight for a while. I know they will miss me, they seem down I have to go. And there is a grey area on this news. I will be very close to Nicole. The reason it's a grey area is because I have been having some .... lets call them weird (not bad) conversations with her.

She has been talking to me because her current boyfriend, who i thought was a great guy, isn't being such a great guy. I won't go into detail on what he is doing, but he treats her like shit, and I don't want to see her so upset. And, of course, drunk me being "Drunk" had to let my words out before my mind had an idea what was being said. I told her I still had feelings for her, and I kinda do. She worries that she will get hurt again. I want to tell her that if I had just one chance, I would treat her like she should be treated. A queen. I would rather hurt myself than hurt Nicole, but I can't get the words out when we speak. And I know she probably won't read this. I don't care. If i have to live my life as her friend, I can survive indefinitely.

Last night, I had a dream again. They seem to only occur when I truly need one. This one was about me and Nicole, just sitting on a floating rock drifting through space, as opposed to us LIVING on a floating rock in space. We sat there, talking about stuff we could usually talk about. Video games, music, life philosophy. It seemed normal, until she said "I'm glad I'm finally your girfriend." I didn't wake up immediately. I just put my arm around her and said "I would fly across the universe in a day just to make sure you are happy." I remember writing that down after a few years of knowing her, but never telling her. She always had a boyfriend, and I have always been too far away. It doesn't make it hurt any less. I guess that's it for me. I have been your Angel for this evening.